Feeling of belonging

What do you do in those moments you feel like you dont belong? I hate it. I have no place. I don't have a permanent place. I have no where that I can just say is my space. It makes me emotional as fuck. But I don't feel like this all the time. Just every now and then. Like right now. And I just want to take my blanket and go sleep in the truck because that is the only place I can say is mine. Sighs. I feel like I'm alone when there are plenty of people in the room. But are they acknowledging me? No. It's like I'm invisible. I hate it. I want to be wanted and needed. I need to feel important but I'm not. Not sure I ever will be and I'm sure I'll feel better or different tomorrow but right now I feel like this. Ugh.

Frustrated

I'm seriously tired of the negative bullshit. Alot is changing at work and nobody likes it. But to come into work and have this fucked up attitude and bring everyone down around you with your shit energy is wrong. This are what you make it . I don't like the changes at work well some of them. But I suck it up and roll with the punches and make the best out of it. And why? Because what else can I do? Should everyday be miserable because things aren't going my way or I think they should be different. And if your so unhappy find another job. Jesus. People we are grown ass adults let's act like it

Feelings

Seriously feel like I take up space. Seriously just need a break. I need to be able to think straight. But who am I kidding. Only myself. I have too many scrambled thoughts. Nothing seems to go right. I'm so tired of trying so hard and feeling like I'm not going anywhere still. I feel like I'm in the way. All the time. I don't have a place where I am just completely comfortable all the time. Stability is lacking in my life. I have stability in my job I think. But that's it. And that seems rocky too alot. I feel like people are nice to my face but I only have one friend. I feel alone. Everybody has their kids or their significant other. Then there is me. No one with no one. I'm just me. Alone and not of importance to people. I am trying so hard to come out on top. But I feel like I am fighting a losing battle. I just want to scream sometimes. I don't know what to do or where to go. Sighs I'm lost.......

So the last year has been alot of adjustment. Learning how to live again. Learning how to enjoy things again. Learning how to smile a real smile again. There has been lots of emotions flying lots of ups and downs. I feel like I'm learning myself all over again. I'm living with my best friend. She has been my rock. I couldn't have made it to where I am without her love and support she truly is what defines a best friend. She never gave up on me and never let me down. She has done way more then anyone has ever done for me as a friend. Her kids have helped me too. My god babies. I love them so much. They have given me purpose too. They also wonder where the heck I am if I haven't been home in a while. Was told I was never aloud to leave that I could go for a while but I have to come back. I think the hardest part has been missing my grandsons. And being told I am not their nana anymore. It hurts alot. But my god kids I know will never be ripped from me. 
Life is full of lessons. Obstacles. Twists and turns. It changes when you least expect it. I have been on disability since 2009 and I'm a certified manager at mcdonalds again and working full time. Hope it works so I can stay and maybe eventually be able to get off ssd. But I'm tryin to take things slowly and make sure I can handle it. 
My life has been flipped and twisted in every direction and I can finally say I am in a good place.